Introduction

         She walks into the church sanctuary, a place she has not seen the inside of in twenty years. Despite her nervousness, she pushes through and walks in through the back of the church to find a seat. She is warmly greeted by a couple of gentlemen who hand her a church bulletin and help her find a seat. The visitor listens to the music, hears the sermon, and concludes by the end of the service that she finally has found a place she can call her church home. After the service, she walks up to the pastor, introduces herself, and tells him how much she enjoyed the service. She expresses her desire to be baptized and join the church. She even asks how she can join the choir and volunteer for the outreach team. What the pastor does not know, but is soon to discover, is that the woman who expressed a rarely seen sincere enthusiasm from a first-time visitor has just recently come to Christ. And because she is still a baby Christian, she has some doubts about the Bible in part due to her intellectual curiosity and in part because she still identifies as a homosexual.

         The above story is amalgamation of several people that I have met in my ministry context. But, even as an amalgamation, this person most certainly could exist in any modern-day church and has existed in real life in several churches that I know of personally. The question is: Supposing the pastor visits this person in her home or meets with her in his office and discovers these personal elements of her life, how should he respond? What is a pastor supposed to do in this scenario? Ruling out uncritical, full acceptance of someone’s sexual orientation as a viable option, a pastor must be able to pick apart the underlying subtext in this person’s life and get a good clear picture of who this person is. That includes what their current presuppositions are, how their background has influenced their current decision, and get to the bottom of those doubts about scripture and confusion concerning her sexual orientation. The problem addressed in this paper is that people come to faith as adults and that will always come within a context that needs consideration. Some might call this “baggage”, but that negative connotation discounts the fact that every human being comes to Christ with their own “baggage”. In any case, every new convert has a context in which they come to faith that includes gender and sexual identity.

         The goal of every disciple of Christ is to conform to the image of Christ, which includes one’s gender and sexual identity. To meet this goal, three aspects of discipleship should be considered: 1) Clarity and direction on what makes one a disciple of Christ is essential. 2) Clarity and direction on what one’s identity out to consist of (sexual identity or otherwise) 3) Clarity and direction on how to proceed with involvement with the church once our identity is clearly aligned with the Bible and our sanctification is more purely realized.

Defining Discipleship

         Discipleship, which is a process that describes what a disciple does is different than being a disciple. According to the Lexham Theological Wordbook,

“Discipleship is an intentional process that requires an individual to commit to learn from, and eventually imitate, his/her teacher. For Christians, this refers to understanding the teachings of Jesus and following his example in obedience through the power of the Holy Spirit. Discipleship not only involves the process of becoming a disciple but of making other disciples through teaching and evangelism (Matthew 28:19).[1]

          Discipleship, on the one hand, includes those that surround a disciple and have an immediate impact on the disciple. These people include pastors, teachers, mentors, and fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who spur one on to good works. A disciple of Christ, on the other hand, is the individual in question and deals more with the inward transformation that is going on in that disciple’s heart that leads him or her to conform to the image of Christ.

         The history of discipleship gives us perspective on how we should go about that process today. It does this by allowing us to learn from our mistakes, so we are not doomed to repeat them, and by helping us to see what advancements have been made so we do not have to reinvent the wheel. Going back to the beginning, with the twelve disciples that followed Jesus around during his earthly ministry, we see the formation of a discipleship process. As John Macarthur observes, you can break down the progression of Jesus’ method of discipleship into four phases: Phase one is conversion—that each disciple is called to salvation first and foremost. Phase two was a call to ministry—that each disciple is called to be “fishers of men”. Phase three is apostleship—that each disciple is to be sent out two by two to repeat the process again in other people’s lives. Phase four was martyrdom—that each disciple should be ready to give their lives for the sake of the gospel.[2]

         Now we must be careful in applying this method to the modern believer, seeing how the original 12 disciples’ calling was unique to them. Yet, the underlying principles taught to them by Jesus in the gospels are repeated many times in the book of Acts with other believers and in early church history. One could summarize Jesus’ discipleship process in this way:

1) Give your life to Jesus by confessing him as Savior and Lord.
 2) Join the church to do the work of ministry, exhorting the saints and evangelizing the lost.

3) Go out into the world outside of your current ministry context to spread the gospel and help start churches in areas where there are none.

4) Be ready to give your life for the sake of the gospel.

         Sounds simple enough on the surface, but there is always something deeper beneath the surface that needs to be unearthed. In recent history, Christian leaders in the United States have attempted to express discipleship in a modern American context. Tracing the trends in methodology, Bill Hull points out that there are three streams of thought regarding discipleship in the history of this country. The first stream is the classic model of discipleship made popular by organizations such as Campus Crusade and The Navigators. The characteristics of this method include “one-on-one mentoring, a disciplined program of Bible study, Scripture memorization, and training in witnessing and speaking.” The second model Hull mentions is the spiritual formation model. The emphasis this model gives us is “the process through which individuals who have received new life take on the character of Jesus Christ by a combination of effort and grace.” The third stream is called environmental discipleship or relational discipleship. This stream is not so much a method as it is an emphasis on how our environment and relationships shape our discipleship.[3]

            Hull argues that there is a convergence that has happened between these three streams that has created a brand-new stream. One that attempts to take all the positive defining characteristics of the other streams and synthesize it. Using this holistic approach to discipleship—one that leans on the whole council of God, not just cherry-picked parts of it—is what is called for in our modern setting. The church must confront the identity crisis the world has created with a discipleship process that can meet any person where they are at, regardless of what issues, troubles, or background they might have.

         “Disciple” as an identity deserves consideration before one includes gender and sexuality in the discussion. The earliest mention of the word “disciple” is in Mark 2:15 where it just uses the term as a descriptor for those who were following Him around Capernaum. In Luke 14, our Lord used this word along with a short list of standards that a person would have to meet to be considered one of His disciples.[4]  There are three traits that can be extracted from this passage that describe what a disciple is. The first trait has to do with identity. The conditions to be a disciple of Christ, at the very least include a willingness to hold your identity in Christ at the highest level, to shun any identity that holds you back from embracing that identity with Christ, to show evidence of it through action, and to seriously commit to it—knowing that there will be a personal cost. Putting it in terms of identity, the standards of a disciple help us to see how we need to respond to any obstacles our sexual identity and gender might put in our way.

          Digging a little bit deeper into the text, the comparison between love for Jesus and love for family or self is put in the negative (if you do not hate your wife and children… even your own life, you cannot be my disciple). According to the Expositor’s Commentary on Luke, to hate your family and your life is not absolute, but relative. As Walter Liefeld notes, “Jesus is not contravening the commandment to honor one’s mother and father. Moreover, he says a disciple should hate “even his own life”, whereas he speaks elsewhere of loving ourselves.”[5] Our love for Jesus should be on a level that makes our love look like hate by comparison.   One can scarcely think of a love greater than a love for one’s family. Even if they do selfishly love themselves over and above their own family, Jesus has that covered, too. Our identity in Christ must be greater than any other identity we have, including ourselves.

         To be a disciple of Christ, we must also be willing to shun any identity that is contrary to our identity in Him. Verse 33, “…those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples” indicates the willingness to give up a way of life if needed. Liefeld adds that the idea of “giving up” is closest to “yielding up the right of ownership”[6] This is crucial to the discussion of sexual identity within discipleship. Our life, our closest, dearest loved ones, and everything else needs to be handed over to God for Him to do with it what He pleases. He owns our identity if we are to be His disciple.

Giving up your identity for an identity that abides in Jesus is the first trait of a disciple. The second trait is to put it into action. The word “disciple” (from the Greek word “mathētēs” meaning, “committed learner, follower)[7] by itself does not indicate action outside of one’s personal benefit, but the actions described here in Luke and elsewhere help fill in the blanks. You are to carry your cross. Jesus said earlier in chapter nine for us “to deny ourselves, pick up our cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23 NIV) This metaphor was chosen to clearly and permanently tie our identity to the person of Christ. We are no longer living our lives out every day for ourselves, but for Him. It is not just a one-time decision but a continual decision that includes all our thoughts, acts, and emotions.

         The third trait is to count the cost of being a disciple. Jesus uses an illustration of a king who must make the hard decision of whether it is worth committing his soldiers to a battle. If he is not willing to sacrifice his men, he is not committed. In the same way, if someone is not willing to give up everything to follow Jesus, they are similarly not committed. Later in the same chapter, Luke records Jesus telling a man to follow Him but the man gives Jesus an excuse that he has to attend to his father’s burial and when that doesn’t work, he said he will follow Jesus as long as he can say good-bye to his family. In keeping with his point about how our affections for Jesus must higher than that of family, Jesus says in response: “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:63 NIV)

         In summary, a disciple is a follower of Christ who leaves behind any part of their identity—before the moment of salvation—that conflicts with or contradicts an identity in Christ, clings to their new identity in Christ, naturally shows evidence of that identity in their actions, and never looks back to revisit their old identity. A discipleship process should be holistic in its approach, include the church body at some level, and has as its end goal the Great Commission—disciples making disciples.

Discipleship and Identity Confusion

            If the church’s discipleship process includes a change of identity, what happens when someone claims to have been converted/born again in Christ, but has a self-proclaimed homosexual identity—meaning they see no contradiction at all in claiming to be a Christian and a homosexual or they have inner turmoil about it and either aren’t willing to let go of it or don’t know how? It is impossible to talk about discipleship without discussing evangelism methodology. From gospel tracts being left on bathroom sinks at gas stations to big arena gospel rallies of the 19^th and 20^th Centuries, evangelism has been viewed almost in total isolation from discipleship. That is because it is assumed that once a person comes to know Jesus as their Savior that they would just know to join a church and start living their lives for Jesus. The involvement of discipleship at the individual church member level is dismal. Jose Vejar, citing a Barna survey from 2018 that said only 49% understand the Great Commission’s significance to go and make disciples, concluded that such a low percentage is a call to action for our churches to take up the mantle of discipleship again.[8]

            It is easier to disciple a new believer if they have a clean break with their past (sinful) identity. Whether it be an addict who gives up drugs when they accept Christ, an abusive father and husband who immediately exhibits the spiritual fruit of self-control upon conversion, or, in the case of sexual identity, a homosexual that realizes to accept Christ was to take on a new identity that did not accept homosexuality as a legitimate part of that identity. In her book, “Born Again This Way”, Rachel Gilson describes her experience as a lesbian coming to Christ. Before she became a Christian, her identity was clear and she knew it:

 By the end of high school, I was convinced that everything central to my identity was opposed to everything central to Christianity. I was devoted to scholarship, to ideas, to truth. Christianity was about crutches, blindness, an autopilot life. I was determined to marry my girlfriend—it was the early 2000s, and legal gay marriage was about to emerge—and embrace my sexuality fully. Christianity was a cruel, nonsensical “No” to love in this form.[9]

         When she came to Christ, she knew she could not act on those desires anymore because she has a new identity. “My mind raced with things that I sensed I must give up if I threw my lot in with Jesus: partying, finding a wife, control of my own life even.”[10]. What was going on underneath surface that got her to that place in life where she could accept the fact that she was a new creation—that the old has passed away? The first thing she had to accept was that she was wrong about God, her eternal destiny, her current standing with God, and what the Bible was and who Jesus was. She had to accept the Bible as the word of God and she knew what that meant. This acceptance does make it easier to go to the next step in the discipleship process.

         However, in numerous instances, the process can be more complex.  Speaking from personal experience, I discipled a young man in college who used to be an atheist before he became a Christian. When he was confronted in scripture about certain hard-to-accept elements of God’s sovereignty and foreknowledge, he said it made him want to be an atheist again. I have also seen a new Christian continually fall back into his partying ways even though he now felt guilt for it. He would call me often after a bender crying that he couldn’t stop. And in my current church, there is a 50-year-old man with a Hassidic Jewish background who says he believes that Jesus is the Messiah and that He is the only way to salvation but has trouble accepting the Pauline epistles due to all the Jewish rhetoric he was taught about Paul in the religious context in which he grew up.

            Even Gibson, by her own admission, said that she struggled for a while with homosexual desires after she became a Christian. “I was mentally convinced of the what of my sexuality: to say no to same-gender sexual lust and actions. I had no access, however, to the why.”[11] This can be an issue if there are an relapses, or worse, it is revealed over time that their gospel seed fell on rocky soil, only to be choked out by the cares of the world (meaning, they were never truly converted to begin with).

Untangling the Identity Web

            Going back to the case study of the enthusiastic young lady in the introduction, there are several factors to consider when approaching the discipleship process with her. It is dangerous for someone to be rushed through the process of discipleship because the church might be inspired by a new convert’s testimony. Giving them ministry responsibilities within the church before they are settled on doctrine and certainty of their salvation. The Bible warns against such actions. “Even zeal is not good without knowledge, and the one who acts hastily sins.” (Proverbs 19:2 HCSB) James said that not many should become teachers because they have a stricter judgment  (James 3:1 HCSB) and Paul warned Timothy against appointing elders that were young in the faith because they “not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil.” (1 Tim. 3:6 ESV)

            Instead of jumping right into volunteer work, the young lady in question should be encouraged to first see herself as a disciple of Christ who needs to enter the discipleship stream at the church. It should be stated plainly that the overall reason to this approach of “discipleship first” is to become “imitators of God, as beloved children” (Eph. 5:1 ESV), to abide in him and “walk in the same way in which he walked” (1 John 2:6), and “follow in his steps”. (1 Peter 2:21) Learning to take on the identity of Christ is of utmost importance. Learning how to do that would be to get to the root cause of why there are lingering issues with the old identity.

            This discipleship process needs to be multi-layered. In his doctoral project on discipleship strategies for Gen Z, Jose Vejar gives us a good framework in which to work. He argues that discipleship of this kind need to be relational. The next generation will not respond to discipleship if it is not relational because they value relationships more than any other generation before it. Secondly it needs to be informational. The church teaches this information as a way of getting to know Christ better and be more intimate with God (reinforcing the relational side). We do this through teaching and preaching the word of God. Thirdly, both the informational and the relational are at their best in a small group setting (circles not rows, as Vejar points out). Lastly, there needs to be creativity in discipleship as we see Jesus employ all throughout his ministry, specifically in how He taught the word of God.[12] Bill Hull presents a very similar discipleship process which includes the relational, informational, and even an emphasis on small groups. The only thing he adds to that process are the personal spiritual disciplines, which gives the disciple the tools to become a self-feeder.[13]

            This research has been important to understand the next generation for one specific reason and it is regarding sexual identity. Gen Z is more likely to identify as LGBTQ than any other generation before it and it is not even close.[14] Nationwide, according to a Gallup poll taken in 2024 shows that Gen Z identified as LGTBQ at a rate of 22%, with the second-place generation being Millennials at 9.8%. The church needs to be ready for an influx of new believers being thoroughly confused about the sexual identity and completely lost as to what God expects of them in this area.

            The first step in discipling someone with this identity issue is not to assume you know where or how they came upon identifying themselves as homosexual. Quick fixes do not exist with any pattern of sin and to try to shortcut your way through them is to do far more damage than good. But it is also unacceptable to let the disciple stay where they are. The Bible does not affirm homosexuality in any form and furthermore, God’s word denounces it at as sin in its many different forms.[15] Part of being a disciple of Christ is to be holy like He is holy. We must move away from this identity.

          Mark Yarhouse notes that science is only of some help as it can provide “The methods of science can tell us about what occurs and what is measurable—about what people do—perhaps providing insight into factors that may contribute to impulses and patterns of behavior, as well as broader concepts such as orientation. However, science cannot tell us what ought to be or how we should live or which impulses we should follow.”[16] Yarhouse proposes three different trajectories that the Christian could take with a new disciple. The first trajectory is to affirm the gay identity as central. This trajectory would encourage the individual to move to a gay-affirming faith circle/church where it would be normative and their sexual identity would be embraced. As stated earlier, full acceptance is not under consideration here. Moreover, it is important to confirm (most likely as part of the informational aspect of the discipleship process) that the new believer will at least intellectually confess that the Bible treats homosexuality in all its forms as sin and have as their goal, to move away from it as they grow in Christ.

         Trajectory two is for them to move from a homosexual orientation to a heterosexual orientation. Yarhouse said this thinking is rooted in arrogant optimism, that just because heterosexuality is normative in Christianity, that a person who becomes a Christian can just switch orientations. As he points out, just because heterosexuality is normative doesn’t mean that sexual orientation can change. The third trajectory is to move away from gay identity.  Under this trajectory, the disciple is encouraged to think of being gay as an identity, not as a sexual orientation. If it is thought of as an identity, then it is easier to talk about it in spiritual terms, since we are to have an identity in Christ, first and foremost. So, as part of the discipleship process, the disciple begins to dis-identify with a gay identity and move beyond gay as a personal descriptor. The disciple should be told that this is normal for Christians to do since we have misidentified our true self by default. As they begin to see that our true identity is in Christ, living for Christ, (Gal 2:19-20 ESV) then they can carefully and purposefully let go of their old identity.[17]

         This seems to be a similar trajectory that Rachel Gilson took as she describes in chapter two of her book. It started with a series of conversations with a fellow sister in Christ. As they discussed sexuality and the Bible, what they discovered is that topic or theme of sexuality is all over scripture. If you limit the talk of sexuality to just the prohibitions, then it does not say that much, but any time that gender is mentioned or marriage, well, then it has a lot to say. Because of this, Gilson believes the best way forward is to continue to trust the Holy Spirit’s leadership that as they grow in their new identity as a Christian. Eventually, like her, they will cease to identify themselves as a homosexual.[18]

         One testimony she gave was a young lady named Ericka who identified as a homosexual even after she decided to start following Christ. It wasn’t until after she attended a talk on gender roles that she realized something profound. She said,
“I realized there that my identity in Christ may be calling me to a new identity in everything.”[19] Eventually, she went from accepting the fact that she was gay, but as a Christian she knew to anchor her identity elsewhere. However, one day, her attractions flipped. She found herself attracted to a Christian man. Since then, she never looked back to revisit her old identity. As a natural outflow of her identity in Christ, she was able to reorient her sexuality to be more in line with God’s original and good intentions.

In Summary

          This way of discipling someone takes discipline and patience. One simply cannot rush the process of reorienting one’s identity. Yes, it can happen miraculously overnight, but many times it does not. And there can be setbacks. The church must be willing to walk the path with them and not be ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it. They must start off accepting them where they are but not expect them to stay there. Finally, they must be there for them when they fall to show them grace and help them get back on the righteous path. The one truth we can all count on is that every believer will one day no long struggle with their identity and will be in perfect harmony with Christ in eternity.